Awake 

  

It’s one in the morning

The train is whistling by

A wicker chair and a 

…lonely porch 

 With flickering lights and     

 …cigarette smoke 

 I’m talkin to God again 

 One more barter 

 One last try 

Beggin for a miracle 

 To get it right
A consistently inconsistent life
Burning feet digging in dirt 

The layer of a melted sun

Swings absent to a placid world 

The melancholiac moon

The eerie time and placement

The fickle fingers 

Compromising my decisions

To leave me broke again

When the ace landed in my hand
I surrendered a once in a lifetime dance 

But the wind is thick

Kicking up dust and rubble behind it

A broken sliver of shattered diamonds

I never know what God is doing

Still, I beg for answers

To be hard as a rock

And not feel the shock of indecision

The pale blue sequence of malicious dreams

Teasing and haunting me

With a love that could set me free

I climbed the mountain top

Only to see 

Endless miles of volcanoes 

Scattered with praying claws 

and a wedding ring

It’s one in the morning 

 I am wide awake 
  

Sinking into night 

 

I carved out my soul

now i lay naked without my walls
I’ve no one to blame but myself
it is no one’s fault but mine
The ricochet of silly dreams
and backhand of belief
The fruitless hope forcing buds
like me
She’s a damn fighter

The Lord is all I have
I am clinging to Him with my whole being
in this blazing heat I am quivering
Lord I pray for life
that i may not shrink away
show me how you love your daughter
the metaphorical change to wine from water
Rain rubies and diamonds
glimpses into heaven
Misted in perfect falls of love

My eyes are black in this pulseless life
sparks extinguished
the loneliness of night
You did not search
You were already there
waiting with quiet arms
in my blue dreamers chair
I crawled upon your lap
A baby with no tears
unblock these caged emotions
unmute my screaming layers
frozen to cry
this hour I wail
rock me to sleep

Gently closing eyes…                            that weep