Arrival

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Sadness draws me in
Underneath the zipper of despair
My heart paper thin
After a week of crumbling from within
You sense my darkness
Alerting your attentive soul
You arrive at my doorstep
Guard down, sexy as ever
Your eyes, my treasure
Your heart, I’ve been quenching
The beat beat
Of my breasts
Colliding with your chest
As they fall and sway
There’s not much to say
In words
My lips speak
As they rise from griefs burn
You- my only cure
Black nails pressing hard into your spine
Wrapping my ankles with your silk tie
“My gift” you say as you unwind
Out into where I go in
Fated lovers
Twisted, tangled
Souls pumping as one
Mangled
Our mess of destruction
Our sadness our abduction
All seems to vanish
With your body upon mine
Delicious seduction
My despair is fading
At the knock of my lovers
Destination

Accidental Death

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I sank into the corner

Outside looking in

On my tiny little frame

And the pain it was in

Curled into a slender ball

Head buried into the darkness of my knees

Fetal

Surrounded with cherry colored

Little bottles

All filled with different pills

Prescribed candy from a doctor

We just went out to have some fun

Then one shot of Patron

Stacked into ten

Or more

Maybe we really went to

Kill our pain

With a shot right to the heart

I told her “get me 9-11”

My body was soaked and trembling

Pins and needs pushing

Into my skin that was

Pale and crying

Black eyeliner streaking over white powder

Face of a mime dancer

Naked and cold

She brought me a warm blanket

My body one with the floor

Not feeling well herself

Yet knowing I was worse

She knelt down

And softly said

“shh, you’re ok”

As she calmed my withdrawn body

Massaging my feet and my legs

My angel knew just what to do

My heart tremored not as fast

I popped a few random pills

Begging for the pain to pass

I started thinking of people like

Amy Whinehouse and Heath Ledger

I started thinking of people

Like my only brother

Is this what it is like?

To accidently die

You can’t even count the pills

You’re just praying for sleep

And the pain to subside

I believe I was saved

By the angel at my feet

Because I could of sworn my spirit was dying

When I was only meaning to sleep

Before my morning mug

Before my morning mug

The annoyance of irony 

The drag of being alive today
The uncomfortable heaviness all over me 
The only comfort is being with you
But then again eventually you will leave too
The constant pang of the bitter truth
The way we can’t change the history of our roots 
The way the pain clings like a million knives 
The way they back stab and don’t bother to lie 
Sometimes I wish they would 
Just tell me that life is going to be grand 
That I was worth the sacrifice 
That I was worth not the wait
But worth it today
And today would feel great
As you slide the knives further in 
Under the guise of promises and a tailor made grin.