Swollen sensitive heart 

Wishing and longing 

For a gentle adoration 

All the nervous places 

Blistered and bitten 

Weep against the rain

Blending upon a camoflaughed face

Where one finds a collapsed smile 

And eyes lined 

with crusted prayers. 


We were Rockstars once 


Sliding down the banister

Your arms waiting
Silly and sinister
The perfect match for your little sister 
One drag at a time  
We’ll figure the rest out together 
Fur coats and sunglasses 
Jovial hearts but we walk like badasses 
I won’t forsake what you started 
At times the grief hurts so bad
I can’t handle it 
I smell your teen spirit 
I scream our favorite songs 
I’m clawing through jungles of traps
Cuz all I hear is 
“Little sis I got your back”
And I know you do
This determination I feel
Imprinted by you
The memories are coming back
The crazy times 
A wild and fearless love 
Dammit that you’re gone
But we were rockstars once 


Track Marks 


All of the noises are drowning out
But you are screaming loud
And this place we are in 
Is the sheep dressed in the devils skin
They want to see the flowers
They want to see the rose filled goblets
We are right in front of thier glasses
We are drowning in the tragic

I planted my heart that grew into a sunbeam
Underneath all the brightness 
They are still shivering in sadness
They never hear the angelic singing
They never hear the church bells beckoning
We are in an abnormal space

We are not the way we were made 

I’m learning everyday
I’m seeing the conditioned ways
They stand frozen in a microwave
They worship plastic forks and silver spoons
I reach for your hand
We kneel on our own
This life knows no reference for home

I melted away 
Maybe you’ll feel me itching your fingers
Maybe you’ll remember when you see the track marks
Their carpets become so dark they don’t see the stains
They turn their back on the reasons they came

We found eachother                      Bravery our minds                                and Jesus our mother

The Miss

This week arrives 

Like heat on ice 
The impact of my heart disintegrating 
It weakens and remains solemn
I miss you sweetie
And the miss within is raging 
Its teeth are cutting 
Its fangs are slashing 
Its eyes are stinging 
Its throat is a compilation of rocks
Stuck on memories
To force a stop 
Don’t tell me to capture the moments 
The miss is still angry
Remembering craddling her lifeless daughter
Is that what you want me to see?
Years later 
The miss is sicker than ever 
Oh no!
The aftershock of disaster
Rolling through my busted structure 
Why why why…
It’s maddening, I’ll never know 
I just float in this miss
Covering and curling me in
Losing my daughter
Losing my skin 


I really miss you today

Blue eyes 
Always converse
Always the jokester
The tragedy laced into my heart
As I stitch it tears apart
The pulse of where you are 
In the flesh that swims upstream
In the veins that give and take
The mothers milk 
Where I am permanently stayed 
My nails I bite 
Claw and fight me
Growing back at quicker speeds
A metaphor that is now my grief 
I cry and wail
Yet the missing only intensifies
I can’t stand to admit it!
Have you really died? 


And in a snap 

Trust is burned to death 
A smolder of rust
From fragile hands 
Reaching for straws  
To regrow the charred grass 
But the fire restarts 
With a flash
A burst of charcoaled truth 
When I view you 
Striking a fuse, splitting vows in two  
And here I remain 
Outside your window
Getting slammed by pain 
Chunks of heart break off
Slipping down the gutters drain 
Why I seem
To never learn this lesson
Bulldozed by lies careful construction
Trust is impossible to grasp
When you’ve tied my feet
And sawed off my hands 

I am a Thunderstorm 

The past is a prologue 

To the story of my life  
Born into the palms of 
Someone who would always be
A stranger 
I was supposed to be a boy
Named David 
What a stunner 
Instead I was born an anchor
My backstories are burdens
Weighing lovers down
Positioning them on the run 
My hands tremble 
I jump before the trigger
My life is a thunderstorm 
And I twirl in it
I sleep in it
I breathe with stillness in it
Often my tears outdo it 
I was the bolt of lightening 
Shocking an unsuspecting island 
Making waves that never quit
Inked with marks of slits 
Upon each wrist 
It just is what it is 
I am what I am
I am a thunderstorm 
I am that rain, that wetness
Gliding downstream 
On your cheeks 
*From “make it rain Monday” on Kindred Words 


I cannot talk 

There is an avalanche in my throat
It is a raging storm 
Pleading an exit of eruption
I cannot run
I am chain linked to this entity
I may not pour out every sickness
That runs through my veins
And colors my eyes
But God views
The lacerated and the bruised
While you turn the lights out
And tac yourself to a frame in the wall
I am chucked into the light
With the radiation ssssting
Of a pulse so terrified she’s stuttering 
The avalanche is booming 
God will not make his move
The demons crawl and lurk 
Why on earth
Would you choose to sprint with them 
With a back turned
As I burn under the damned 

Transparent, Me

I’ve missed you terribly

Like when Jesus left Mary 
Her heart released and carried 
How long ago were we split 
From one to two
I’ve searched in crowded rooms
I’ve written the ink out of all my pens
I’ve prayed, begged, and wished on stars
The ones that burned into my soul
In that ever gaping hole
I’ve caught and killed butterflies 
I’ve bled and died alone 
I’ve been frozen and I’ve been stoned 
I’ve left lovers and led blind men
I lost children and wailed for you then
I was put in the hands of cruelty
And abandon when they tired of me
I handed myself up and over 
My heart clutched in the teeth 
Of an eagle
Searching to find you 
At last the garnet was delivered 
And I felt a jolt of life 
My twin soul
I am moved beyond control
And my heart weeps
Baptized in belief 
I love you 
Reborn and recycled 
I’ve played all my roles 
I walk into my final lifetime 
A last surrender 
To fill your soul with mine 
So we can leave behind our parts
To drown in the destiny 
Of a completed heart