The Voice in my Box

  

For many years 

debilitating thoughts 

made a home in my mind

No room at the inn, door locked 

…confined 

I smiled in silence 

To an oblivious room 

All the while

My throat screaming 

For all the bad memories 

All the unfair nights

All the damn hurt!

the effects 

…and the cause 

Life played out and my lips 

….Obediently paused 

Until 

The drink of belief 

Made her way 

From my mouth to my feet 

Like a waking alien 

I have found my home again 

And all that was shrunken inside 

Lost the urgency to cling and hide 

Rising in hope

Yes this freedom speaks

Oh honey…

This freedom sings!

She flys on flames atop of wings

And the music is sweeter than ever 

My voice, my speakers

Reign out 

Bleeding a glorious color

Onto white corners 

of my 

…Newly born feathers. 

  

 

 




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Giving healing a Name

My heart is mending today

My eyes, rest behind glasses
…taking their place

My lips swollen from attempting to make sense

of something

…that can never be named

or understood

And that

…is ok

I tugged my heart out and laid it at your feet

…showing you what I need

You shook your head and walked away

God’s whispering to follow this lead

“Please take my stubborn soul and guide me”

…I plead!

Kneeling until I could feel my bones

Carving creations into the pavement

I stood and saw

A butterfly with a halo

…a sign of love from my angel daughter

A dragon with his claws out

…a transferred protection, my brothers mark

An auburn wolf with eyes like mine

…a reflection of my inner courage 

Decorating me like a glittering thesis

The bowtie completing her writing

The endless essay of my life and timing

Words trail me like the train of a wedding dress

Lifting me to redemption from the mess

As the grey erases 

…in the sunshine of significance

I see I am not alone in this!

And you are all standing with me

Smiling

in a circle of opened hands

Releasing

a fluttering wild soul

We are giving healing a name, 

…Freedom

 

I celebrate my tears 

  
I celebrate my tears

For the little girl who was put in the corner

With the hypnotic sway of the pointing finger 

“Don’t you dare cry” 

Over and over

…like a lullaby 

I celebrate my tears 

For the years of pushing them down

To a dungeon I forgot about

Because

“Tears are a sign of weakness”

So I smiled harder and forced them into secret 

I celebrate my tears 

Because when my baby died

Everyone was allowed to lose their minds 

Except me 

I was positioned to remain 

“Nice and neat”

And keep tears hidden 

In between the sheets

When he is passed out asleep

In the shower for hours screaming

As long as no one was home 

…to listen 

I celebrate my tears because the

Chains are being broken 

And my tears are the ones seeking their freedom!

They run down my cheeks 

In an overzealous reaction 

They stream out proudly!

My tears are speaking loudly 

In pure love and acceptance 

Not the misnomer of weakness 

I celebrate my tears

In all their beautiful radiance 

because…

My tears, unleash the story 

…of my spirit!

I celebrate my tears  

  

Young again

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Foundations built on lies

The sky is blue

You convinced me it was white

Now having eyes of my own

Like a baby being born

I am happy to be young again

Two were to become one

But you chose to blend with the rest of them

And scatter me to the sea

A burned lovers ashes

Sinking down to the fishes

But I rose to the surface

With hair of babies breath

And eyes of wonderment

I am happy to be young again

Cleansed from your darkness

Redefining what beautiful is