How we met

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The blasts threw us back

A thousand feet
At least
Eyes and innocence
Lacerated
Naked under the explosions
Bodies slain in aggression
Of the dominating dictator
Aiming for our hearts
Surviving through our thick skinned parts
As I opened my mind
I felt him
Through the dust and burn
His spirit sent me words
My bloody hands
Found their way
Clinched and his to stay
Escaping on our bellies
Through a maze of consequences
We weren’t sure if we woke
In hell or heaven yet
But we crawled on the scalding cement
Half alive on our journey
Saving you
Saving me
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Spyder

spyder

Lurking in the shadows
Like a creep
Patiently waiting
For me to slip
Dripping venom from your teeth
Desiring to put my blood to sleep
Hairs rising up
In the cut of your abdomen
Praying for sick wishes
Praying for a falling victim
To feast upon the wrists
Where you once hid
Pitch black secrets
Now bandaged in pain
The kill fills you up again
Crawling faster little spyder
I see your cobwebs
Filling my corners
The prince of darkness
Now dethroned
To the smallness of a spyder
Bound to be
blood against my walls

Accidental Death

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I sank into the corner

Outside looking in

On my tiny little frame

And the pain it was in

Curled into a slender ball

Head buried into the darkness of my knees

Fetal

Surrounded with cherry colored

Little bottles

All filled with different pills

Prescribed candy from a doctor

We just went out to have some fun

Then one shot of Patron

Stacked into ten

Or more

Maybe we really went to

Kill our pain

With a shot right to the heart

I told her “get me 9-11”

My body was soaked and trembling

Pins and needs pushing

Into my skin that was

Pale and crying

Black eyeliner streaking over white powder

Face of a mime dancer

Naked and cold

She brought me a warm blanket

My body one with the floor

Not feeling well herself

Yet knowing I was worse

She knelt down

And softly said

“shh, you’re ok”

As she calmed my withdrawn body

Massaging my feet and my legs

My angel knew just what to do

My heart tremored not as fast

I popped a few random pills

Begging for the pain to pass

I started thinking of people like

Amy Whinehouse and Heath Ledger

I started thinking of people

Like my only brother

Is this what it is like?

To accidently die

You can’t even count the pills

You’re just praying for sleep

And the pain to subside

I believe I was saved

By the angel at my feet

Because I could of sworn my spirit was dying

When I was only meaning to sleep

He

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He is my distraction from you

He paints me with all the colors you withdrew

All the beauty you claimed to adore

With a mouth you compliment

Suck my lips

With actions you torment

Stab me as I turn my hips

Away from you now

Your lies vomited out

What a mess

Hope you enjoyed our last kiss

When I’m anxious and lonely

He is anywhere I ask him to be

I don’t need him to fetch me the stars

Or pretend to care about my scars

He is my clouds he is my rain

He is my distraction from the pain

I don’t accept your gift of misery

I’ll swing from he to he

Like monkeys in a jungle

I’m wild and I am free

No, he will not tame me

I just need him to take me

At least one of us is bound by truth

He is my distraction from you

Ascent

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Ascending

into freedom

I know you want me

Coming in your kingdom

Stretch that lace

Round my neck

Crack that whip

My nails down your…

Hypnotic pulses

Regenerating

A lovers connection

But I am not bound

To my knees

To adorn you

My hands are not tied

skin to skin

To absorb your sin

My mouth is not gagged

Screaming for permission to speak

My words run wild

And I follow their lead

Right out the door

Free

Thief

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…My thief

I know I deserve you

I fought long and hard

clawed and marred

Through death and a beaten heart

Through malicious lies in front of

Innocent eyes torn apart

I feel you coming

The blood dances

through my veins surging

I feel you close

You submit my intuition

I don’t need you to save me

Just steal my mind

Pump your words powdered with

Poetic ammunition

Revive my inspiration

I don’t need you to say

“baby it’s all gonna be ok”

Just steal me from my bed

Carry me into the rain

Pull me by my braids

To a dark and soaking place

I don’t need you to fix my past

Just steal my future

End your night into my day

Your mouth stealing pleasure

After me like a vulcher

I feel you coming closer

Postured and on the hunt

Ridding my doorway of

The wolf in sheep’s clothing

My relentless thief

A stolen invitation

Criminal

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Mugshots

Patterned against my white walls like

The gunshots

You patterned into my permeable soul

Behaving like such a hotshot

When I’m the one who harpooned you

With one shot

Lovers in lust couldn’t stop

Until you belittled me with

Lies and small talk

Clarity leaked out and

Pushed me on top

Packing all of our memories in a box

I used to think they were pictures

But now I see it plainly

A criminal and his mugshots