pintrest images

Play for Me 

by Souldiergirl

  
Play for me

A song that morph’s…

A symphony

Rapture my thoughts 

Into a featherweight melody

Let me sit alongside you

As we flow our poetry

Into the magic of 

Black and white keys 

My head on your shoulder

Soothe this fallen souldier 

Oh acoustic warrior!

Play for me

Tangling beats with 

The bodies harmony

Gushing in an emotion

So wildly

Only by you 

Who can truly feel

My unsung tune

…The hues that spin 

My unkempt moods

I long to hear them too!

Play for me

And I…

Will melt for you 

  

The dark of night 

by Souldiergirl

What can I do…
What can I do in this

 …unnerving stillness

The darkness settles over me

Like a mask I hide my face inside it

To howl and weep! 

And I’m not sure where heaven is

Or if they’ve gotten wind of this

The sensitive prick …of a beautiful flower

The prolonged passing …of another hour 

Daylight comes and stings my eyes

Shinning a proof

…I have made it through 

What else can I do? 

 Craddling each breath 

Until the night I receive my gift 

And wake up with you

  

Feathers from Fear

by Souldiergirl

  

You take me…                                       to new heights

You raise me…                                    to tree tops                                 Gazing at … moon drops 
Naming the stars for me 
Calling me…serenity
But soon… do I realize
This necklace is a collar
This collar is your fingers 
Muzzling me to death
Stifling every breath 
I shared my heart with you!
I unlocked my voice                        …and all I went through
Yet you behave just like the rest…
Holding me out from safety 
Teasing to drop me
Freely…into nothing 
Then- pulling me in and asking…
“How are you feeling?”
I shudder to a revealed illusion 
You should wear your                     God granted honor,                          like you wear a suit and tie
….Ironed and tight-                        with head held high 
Do not speak the word “love”
As you simultaneously squish           …my being like a bug
A pest under your foot
You think I will go along with that?
I will rise up!
And have my own back
I fly down this tree
Like a swift kitty cat
Keep your plastic alibis 
Keep my tears that lived in me       and…died in your hands
Keep it all!
I am gone 
Faster…                                                      than you can stand.
  

Moths 

by Souldiergirl

 
Guess I need to get a grip
Guess I need to be harder
Tough like a rock
No storm shall wither 
Straighten up and fly right
Little sister

…All these lies I told myself 
Under the wool of a petticoat
With lace up boots 
and a velvet bow
But the material scratched…
right into my sensitive soul
Revealing the innocence of a naked girl
…With no excuses left for truth
Smiles skip by, unhinged in twos
I don’t need a reminder of 
how deep I miss you…
I watch my feet move 
Attached to another body
I can not feel my heart 
It floats in a transparent jar         
Titled “random art”
The school year has started 
The children dissect it
Unable to revive her                         …they retire exhausted
Make me a project
Alone on a park bench
The coat has blown away 
All that is left
….just me…


  

My Yesterday 

by Souldiergirl

  

Did you ever even see me?
Did you ever even know?
you never asked
always seemed bored
distracted with fancies
passing glances
…behind your glasses
you never sought my gaze
I’m screaming!
…you’re turning the page
magazines and the tele
all you would rather be
not with me
not with me
wonder why you ever said “I do”
white seams split in lieu
…of the vows you promptly outgrew 
steel knife through warm skin
tying laces on broken limbs
what a mess!
and you began to stew
and you began to feud                      knuckles swell with synovial rage
bang bang!                                          …your beautiful punching bag
swings and hangs
they rescued me
…you never changed
your unwrapped fists
devoured promises
suffocating in between
…sullen layers of sunken skin.

  



Sinking into night 

by Souldiergirl

 

I carved out my soul

now i lay naked without my walls
I’ve no one to blame but myself
it is no one’s fault but mine
The ricochet of silly dreams
and backhand of belief
The fruitless hope forcing buds
like me
She’s a damn fighter

The Lord is all I have
I am clinging to Him with my whole being
in this blazing heat I am quivering
Lord I pray for life
that i may not shrink away
show me how you love your daughter
the metaphorical change to wine from water
Rain rubies and diamonds
glimpses into heaven
Misted in perfect falls of love

My eyes are black in this pulseless life
sparks extinguished
the loneliness of night
You did not search
You were already there
waiting with quiet arms
in my blue dreamers chair
I crawled upon your lap
A baby with no tears
unblock these caged emotions
unmute my screaming layers
frozen to cry
this hour I wail
rock me to sleep

Gently closing eyes…                            that weep

  

Just Me 

by Souldiergirl

 

What is it like…to have you for a mother?

What is it like…to have me for a daughter?

They all tell me I’m special
My daughter in heaven
I tell her that too
But what about you?
How do you do?
Do you wonder about me?
Walking in circles
Pacing in dreams
Wondering 
Always wondering
What is it like…
To have you in my life
An empty room at the end of the night
Blank envelopes
Nothing to write

  

 

Greetings 

by Souldiergirl

  

 

My words are an island 

My heart is the ocean
I’m an alien alien 
My womb is an eagle
Adorned with her feathers
I’m home again, home again
My feet are barbed wire 
My mind is the protector 
My eyes are an erotic thriller
My brain is the trailer
Where the pitchfork holds the farmer
He’s free again, free again
My tail is a peach 
Plucked from a tree
The atom pierces me, pierces me 
My breasts are a stream 
My lips are preened 
I’m an alien alien  
Transposed in your dream 
The world is on fire and I am its Queen
Perhaps you have wondered
Perhaps you have seen
The streets are foreigners 
And morning 
…is not what it seems  




I’ll stay black 

by Souldiergirl

The world of black 

Is all too familiar
Void of life and void of color
I longed to put my brain on autocorrect
So when I thought death
It would translate to love
The pills from all the doctors
My neck cracked in despair
Dripping all my yesterday’s
A constant strangulation of guilts face
They say it’s a process
of trial and error
Plastic bottles
milligrams increased to fire
But now I am a robot
Suited underneath their experiments
Trembling in an aftershock of side effects
My body has not succumb to this
Prick me with a needle
They say it’s progress I can’t feel it!
No…
I don’t think so
You can’t grow happy from capsules
Like the wound is gushing
And instead of digging and fusing
They add bandaid upon bandaid
When I tell them I’m still bleeding…
I find comfort in the sea urchin
Poking to keep me breathing
I’ve been under so long
I navigate the darkness so well
But they hooked me to a fancy gps
Designed to misdirect my hell
You’ve lost your mind,
And we can fix it right up!
No…
I disagree
You see, I didn’t choose this life
This life chose me
And I’d rather conquer my blackness
Then choke on a diluted dream

We were Rockstars once 

by Souldiergirl

  

Sliding down the banister

Your arms waiting
Silly and sinister
The perfect match for your little sister 
One drag at a time  
We’ll figure the rest out together 
Fur coats and sunglasses 
Jovial hearts but we walk like badasses 
I won’t forsake what you started 
At times the grief hurts so bad
I can’t handle it 
I smell your teen spirit 
I scream our favorite songs 
I’m clawing through jungles of traps
Cuz all I hear is 
“Little sis I got your back”
And I know you do
This determination I feel
Imprinted by you
The memories are coming back
The crazy times 
A wild and fearless love 
Dammit that you’re gone
But we were rockstars once