The dark of night 

What can I do…
What can I do in this

 …unnerving stillness

The darkness settles over me

Like a mask I hide my face inside it

To howl and weep! 

And I’m not sure where heaven is

Or if they’ve gotten wind of this

The sensitive prick …of a beautiful flower

The prolonged passing …of another hour 

Daylight comes and stings my eyes

Shinning a proof

…I have made it through 

What else can I do? 

 Craddling each breath 

Until the night I receive my gift 

And wake up with you

  

Who I AM! 

  

I am me

Shaken and broken 

With the strength of a tree

And the body of a flower

Whose petals have fallen

In a “blow the man down”

…type of manner. 

My mind is an attic of cobweb strings 

From years of trying to be their perfect “thing”

Believing they may like me

And I would finally be enough!

If I molded so purposefully 

Into their “with restrictions” kind of love…

But you see…

And listen please 

I became a porcelain doll so elegant and clean

Yet never, no not once…

Were they proud of me!

My friends, it was still not enough

Because an acceptance without abundance 

Is no form of love 

And the lines through my face        glued and replaced 

…Oh from the many many nights the doll did break! 

…Was too ugly for many who shunned without grace 

And then…

My body like a stem

Bare, with no protection 

Felt the realist love 

As God touched me from His heavens 

In my mind, spun and confused 

In my heart, tender and bruised 

In my being, sewn from the tragedy of truth

He believes I am beautiful!

I even heard him whisper…

“Daughter, just be yourself”

Hi, I am a mess… 

I am no more and certainly no less

But I am free

From the convictions of all the “whomevers” they wanted me to be…

The doll has been shattered to the doom of the well

To release a timid me 

In all my unruly mystery

He shouted as I bowed,

“My daughter you are lovely and 

I am ever….

So proud!”

  

Transparent, Me



I’ve missed you terribly

Like when Jesus left Mary 
Her heart released and carried 
Away
How long ago were we split 
From one to two
I’ve searched in crowded rooms
I’ve written the ink out of all my pens
I’ve prayed, begged, and wished on stars
The ones that burned into my soul
In that ever gaping hole
I’ve caught and killed butterflies 
I’ve bled and died alone 
I’ve been frozen and I’ve been stoned 
I’ve left lovers and led blind men
I lost children and wailed for you then
I was put in the hands of cruelty
And abandon when they tired of me
I handed myself up and over 
My heart clutched in the teeth 
Of an eagle
Searching to find you 
At last the garnet was delivered 
And I felt a jolt of life 
My twin soul
I am moved beyond control
And my heart weeps
Baptized in belief 
I love you 
Reborn and recycled 
I’ve played all my roles 
I walk into my final lifetime 
A last surrender 
To fill your soul with mine 
So we can leave behind our parts
To drown in the destiny 
Of a completed heart