My Scattered Heart 

Do you ever wonder 


About the pieces we give away
Trusting hearts
Vulnerability misplaced
The precious parts
We hand over like
Trading cards
For a temporary love
I think of mine
Inside dresser drawers
and back pockets
Of…wrinkled trousers
Tone deaf caskets
Scattered with my brothers ashes
The crusted corner of
A once unassuming smile
A handshake, a pinkie promise
A hopeful wish
We made together
Only to hear it crumble
My heart is scattered
With a forgotten child
And ancient lovers
Buried in a sandbox on Fredrick street
…that time capsule
Remember?
I feel the pressure
The beating twice as hard
Of the scars 
That once held parts
And maybe I am not whole
But I am a growing seed
Planted throughout the world
And I wasn’t always right
To give it away
But I took the gamble
And there are these sweet moments
Where I won
Like a radiant flower
Linked up with the sun
Is she any less capable
Without each one of her petals? 

My Wild Angel

  

I am listening to all of our 

old jams

…thinking of you

Beastie Boys and 

Smashing Pumpkins 

Time does not fly 

…it is dangling on the edge of our bedroom window 

Watching us when we were kids 

Eddie Vedder and white tees 

And rebels just wanna have fun 

…so we did 

Now all my heart does is playback our memories 

Converse and coffee 

Hooked on the repeat

Smoke from your cigarette butts

Drawing a mirror 

around my face

Where you would always grin 

and say 

“Everything will be ok”

Even with the odds trimming the life from your face 

Honestly, without you here 

That hole in my gut, reappeared 

So be my wild angel 

And I will be your little rebel

Be my wild angel

Hold me and whisper…

Anything 

Scream our songs through the wind

Hit me with the beats like a best friend 

I love you and there is no end

Be my wild angel

Lead me into heaven

…So we can be kids again 

  

 


The Voice in my Box

  

For many years 

debilitating thoughts 

made a home in my mind

No room at the inn, door locked 

…confined 

I smiled in silence 

To an oblivious room 

All the while

My throat screaming 

For all the bad memories 

All the unfair nights

All the damn hurt!

the effects 

…and the cause 

Life played out and my lips 

….Obediently paused 

Until 

The drink of belief 

Made her way 

From my mouth to my feet 

Like a waking alien 

I have found my home again 

And all that was shrunken inside 

Lost the urgency to cling and hide 

Rising in hope

Yes this freedom speaks

Oh honey…

This freedom sings!

She flys on flames atop of wings

And the music is sweeter than ever 

My voice, my speakers

Reign out 

Bleeding a glorious color

Onto white corners 

of my 

…Newly born feathers. 

  

 

 




Once Upon Our Time

  

My life is a story 

A peeling layer of liquid poetry

As the breadcrumbs 

fall behind me

Each time I grow

Is 

Each time you know 

There is more of me to follow 

I’ll be Gretel  

How about it Hansel?

Our words are building a foundation

For the most courageous castle 

One who has seen 

And felt 

Been on her knees 

When all she could do 

…Was crawl 

Now she stands 

With you and me 

Abducting a long forgotten glee

And it doesn’t make sense

But love seldom does 

Once upon our time 

Breadcrumbs and fairytale rust 

Take my story 

Not just to read 

…Yours, to be touched. 

  

Observer 

  

She breaks down 

He arrives in an instant 

…to her flood of wrenching pain

He knows 

He holds her

His love is ever so gentle

…She is his treasure  

He is the calm in her storm 

He would never leave her 

Even when she pushed and clawed 

He…stayed…right…there

My heart in my throat 

As I sat kitty corner in my chair 

Observing love conquer 

She had crowned his heart 

And I found myself silently weeping 

To be one to witness 

…a tender and true love as this 

And as my tears talked a little louder 

They did not even notice

For they were long sunk 

Into the arms 

…of each other 

  

  

Struck 

  

I look as I walk by 

You smile back

Walking ahead 

As our souls scream out 

Frantically reaching hands 

The same eternal longing 

Throughout 

…five thousand lifetimes 

Pulling at us 

To please

…give in 

How deep is this ocean of feeling 

we have set our hearts in 

Yet here we are 

…Pacing the shore again 

Pretending with nods and smiles 

While inside 

The thunderstorm of connection 

has knocked all the power out 

Maybe no one would notice 

…if I reach for you in the dark 

  

 Slivers

I love you and I don’t know why

With all this grief

My heart keeps tight

…a sliver of light

And I think…

If I keep this slender sliver on repeat

…I will be alright


I love you and I don’t know why

I remember when you first

walked down the street

into my soul

I remember it all

The warm sliver of a ray of hope


I love you and I don’t know why

…all you needed was a sliver to get inside

To be, to watch, to pray 

I think if I keep this slender sliver on replay

maybe, just maybe

…I will be ok

 


*thank you for helping me through this hard time- love you all* 

Our Place 

  

 Running through the tall weeds

Of all we have been through

How it has grown taller than us

Hand in hand, we escape 

To remember when

Time was not an enemy 

…but a friend 

Like you 

Like me

Come lay under the stars 

Baring all of our scars 

To the eyes we trust 

We are safe here 

In our land 

…of magic and love 

  

 

Giving healing a Name

My heart is mending today

My eyes, rest behind glasses
…taking their place

My lips swollen from attempting to make sense

of something

…that can never be named

or understood

And that

…is ok

I tugged my heart out and laid it at your feet

…showing you what I need

You shook your head and walked away

God’s whispering to follow this lead

“Please take my stubborn soul and guide me”

…I plead!

Kneeling until I could feel my bones

Carving creations into the pavement

I stood and saw

A butterfly with a halo

…a sign of love from my angel daughter

A dragon with his claws out

…a transferred protection, my brothers mark

An auburn wolf with eyes like mine

…a reflection of my inner courage 

Decorating me like a glittering thesis

The bowtie completing her writing

The endless essay of my life and timing

Words trail me like the train of a wedding dress

Lifting me to redemption from the mess

As the grey erases 

…in the sunshine of significance

I see I am not alone in this!

And you are all standing with me

Smiling

in a circle of opened hands

Releasing

a fluttering wild soul

We are giving healing a name, 

…Freedom

 

I am your Music Box 

Inspired by Eric and Chrissy, this is a vocal piece. Please click on the link below to hear this piece in my own words ❤️

  
https://audioboom.com/boos/3684252-i-am-your-music-

  
I am your music box…

I am your music box 

And my heart is your ballerina 

Spinning in the direction of your light

Twirling in the presence of your love 

With my arms above my head 

Reaching high for you 

Chin up 

To the sky 

I am your music box 

And you…are the reason why 

My heart is your ballerina 

Dancing to the sunshine of your orchestra 

Do not you know 

I was once in the dark?

But your love has opened 

my soul 

And moved the ballerina 

Inside my heart