Biting Down 

 I’m finding it hard to concentrate 

Thoughts speaking without raising their hands
Raising their voices 
Without being called on
Problems scribbled on the blackboard of my heart 
Lacking a solution for their missing parts
Attempts to steady my shaking hands 
Replacing God where there was once man
I try to sit alone and quiet down
A smile traced on my face 
…They all think she is ok
What if life behaved in an opposite way?
Where we just spoke the truth 
Of how we really were on any given day 
I would say, 
…I am biting down with weak teeth 
I am spitting out these words just to stop the nervous tweaks 
I am holding it all in 
I am under the water, freezing my breath
…becoming the hustler of life’s test
Shadowboxing the unrest 
The hive is loose 
And it is I they seem to choose 
Their stings prick and bleed 
But I bat them off 
With unwavering belief 
I’m fighting being defined a failure 
With scarred fists and a worn out tee shirt 
With the cliche missing 
And my poetry clinging 
Ink down my chest 
Bleeding from my heart 
Rendered into art
To heal myself 
I am tired and I am run down 
Yet there is magic in the forlorn 
I am telling you my real 
I am choking on how it feels
I am the result of what has spilled
…like oil out of a bottle 
I wear the stains of past tomorrow’s 
Yet I still live with two hands up on this roller coaster 
And that would be my truest answer 
If we lived in a world 
Where when we reply with how we are 
” yeah I’m ok”
…was not the standard

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My Wild Angel

  

I am listening to all of our 

old jams

…thinking of you

Beastie Boys and 

Smashing Pumpkins 

Time does not fly 

…it is dangling on the edge of our bedroom window 

Watching us when we were kids 

Eddie Vedder and white tees 

And rebels just wanna have fun 

…so we did 

Now all my heart does is playback our memories 

Converse and coffee 

Hooked on the repeat

Smoke from your cigarette butts

Drawing a mirror 

around my face

Where you would always grin 

and say 

“Everything will be ok”

Even with the odds trimming the life from your face 

Honestly, without you here 

That hole in my gut, reappeared 

So be my wild angel 

And I will be your little rebel

Be my wild angel

Hold me and whisper…

Anything 

Scream our songs through the wind

Hit me with the beats like a best friend 

I love you and there is no end

Be my wild angel

Lead me into heaven

…So we can be kids again 

  

 


The Voice in my Box

  

For many years 

debilitating thoughts 

made a home in my mind

No room at the inn, door locked 

…confined 

I smiled in silence 

To an oblivious room 

All the while

My throat screaming 

For all the bad memories 

All the unfair nights

All the damn hurt!

the effects 

…and the cause 

Life played out and my lips 

….Obediently paused 

Until 

The drink of belief 

Made her way 

From my mouth to my feet 

Like a waking alien 

I have found my home again 

And all that was shrunken inside 

Lost the urgency to cling and hide 

Rising in hope

Yes this freedom speaks

Oh honey…

This freedom sings!

She flys on flames atop of wings

And the music is sweeter than ever 

My voice, my speakers

Reign out 

Bleeding a glorious color

Onto white corners 

of my 

…Newly born feathers. 

  

 

 




Once Upon Our Time

  

My life is a story 

A peeling layer of liquid poetry

As the breadcrumbs 

fall behind me

Each time I grow

Is 

Each time you know 

There is more of me to follow 

I’ll be Gretel  

How about it Hansel?

Our words are building a foundation

For the most courageous castle 

One who has seen 

And felt 

Been on her knees 

When all she could do 

…Was crawl 

Now she stands 

With you and me 

Abducting a long forgotten glee

And it doesn’t make sense

But love seldom does 

Once upon our time 

Breadcrumbs and fairytale rust 

Take my story 

Not just to read 

…Yours, to be touched. 

  

Struck 

  

I look as I walk by 

You smile back

Walking ahead 

As our souls scream out 

Frantically reaching hands 

The same eternal longing 

Throughout 

…five thousand lifetimes 

Pulling at us 

To please

…give in 

How deep is this ocean of feeling 

we have set our hearts in 

Yet here we are 

…Pacing the shore again 

Pretending with nods and smiles 

While inside 

The thunderstorm of connection 

has knocked all the power out 

Maybe no one would notice 

…if I reach for you in the dark 

  

Giving healing a Name

My heart is mending today

My eyes, rest behind glasses
…taking their place

My lips swollen from attempting to make sense

of something

…that can never be named

or understood

And that

…is ok

I tugged my heart out and laid it at your feet

…showing you what I need

You shook your head and walked away

God’s whispering to follow this lead

“Please take my stubborn soul and guide me”

…I plead!

Kneeling until I could feel my bones

Carving creations into the pavement

I stood and saw

A butterfly with a halo

…a sign of love from my angel daughter

A dragon with his claws out

…a transferred protection, my brothers mark

An auburn wolf with eyes like mine

…a reflection of my inner courage 

Decorating me like a glittering thesis

The bowtie completing her writing

The endless essay of my life and timing

Words trail me like the train of a wedding dress

Lifting me to redemption from the mess

As the grey erases 

…in the sunshine of significance

I see I am not alone in this!

And you are all standing with me

Smiling

in a circle of opened hands

Releasing

a fluttering wild soul

We are giving healing a name, 

…Freedom

 

Paper Ears 

  

I needed to get back 

To the lab again

Alone with paper and pen 

All these emotions 

Shooting through me 

In an unannounced current 

Of electricity 

Keeping me up turning 

The spin of the ballerina in that box

Hearing the music of my own 

…melodic thoughts

Like a deer in the woods 

Frolicking and evading 

The hunters postured in each direction 

The compass behind my eyes

Faithfully guided me to a covered protection 

To transfer the impulses from 

inside 

…to out 

All I needed to do was

Write

Them 

Down 

  


I am your Music Box 

Inspired by Eric and Chrissy, this is a vocal piece. Please click on the link below to hear this piece in my own words ❤️

  
https://audioboom.com/boos/3684252-i-am-your-music-

  
I am your music box…

I am your music box 

And my heart is your ballerina 

Spinning in the direction of your light

Twirling in the presence of your love 

With my arms above my head 

Reaching high for you 

Chin up 

To the sky 

I am your music box 

And you…are the reason why 

My heart is your ballerina 

Dancing to the sunshine of your orchestra 

Do not you know 

I was once in the dark?

But your love has opened 

my soul 

And moved the ballerina 

Inside my heart 

  

Joseph’s Kindred Life

My next addition for the ABC Challenge with Rich. For all so far peek over at wafflemethis :)) 

*My brother was so on my heart for this as soon as I heard I was up with the letter “J”. I lost him last year, at only 38 he left us way too soon.  It was unexpected and devastating. He always made me feel treasured- he was most definitely, the best. I miss you Joe- every single second. *

  
 
Joseph’s journey 

Juggled jaded 

…judgement 

Jailing jittering joy  

Knotting, kicking 

Knees kneeling, 

Keen Kingmakers Kingdom 

Knew…

Loopholes losing 

Like…

Loving laughter lit 

Lowly losing light 

Leaving

…life 

  

Rise with Life 

  
My heart nervously beating 

As my eyes match the new horizon

He left in a shocking way

With not even a shadow to trace 

The sky opens her eyes to change 

Asking me to do the same 

Oh but I miss the hands to hold! 

And the stories that laugh as they unfold 

I feel misunderstood 

By the king of understanding 

…it is no fun to feel that way

But I rebuke confusion in these coming days 

I will grow with the bougainvillea 

Wrapping their vines tight to feel ya 

Spreading my hands like Eagles

Above his memory adorned with flowers 

The sky says, daughter it is time 

To rise despite…

and

Fall in love 

…with this unhinged life