Absence 

I listen to the silence
Where laughter used to be
As the record spins
Absent bodies move further from me
Elation only ever comes in moments
Then it runs away 
I can hear the sobbing
Where the church bells use to sing
And I can hear the bullets rip out
As they hit me one by one 
Death trails joy 
No longer a fair trade 
A treasure worn
Then locked and submerged to her grave
My heart sags on a torn sleeve
The ripples so heavy on the surface
Camouflage the rocks sleeping underneath us 
If I could hop on the dragons back
I’d fly away
But the camels thirsting in the desert
And I think he’s lost his way 

Written: 5~23~2013

Tonight

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Tonight

My vision is full

My quest is whole

My nightmares are sold

To the highest bidder

Now slumped in the corner

Bye bye Daddy

Hello summer

Cigarettes and short skirts

Revenge and social perks

Neglect and boys with quirks

Dust off my books

In my leather maiden suit

Read my palms

And tell me, is it true…

My nightmares began and ended

with you?

Stages

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Mixed words Mixed looks

Mixed scenarios

I’m in your hooks

Lost pieces Lost souls

Lost lovers

I’m in your pull

Fallen clothes Fallen stars

Fallen parts

I’m in your heart

Locked lips Locked hands

Locked plans

I’m in your command

Promises made Promises teased

Promises empty

I’m in your trapeze

Lies whispered Lies screaming

Lies naked and revealing

You denied You doubted

You put me in the rearview

I’m treasured I’m honored

By an unknown future

So fuck the lies

I’m starting over

Before my morning mug

Before my morning mug

The annoyance of irony 

The drag of being alive today
The uncomfortable heaviness all over me 
The only comfort is being with you
But then again eventually you will leave too
The constant pang of the bitter truth
The way we can’t change the history of our roots 
The way the pain clings like a million knives 
The way they back stab and don’t bother to lie 
Sometimes I wish they would 
Just tell me that life is going to be grand 
That I was worth the sacrifice 
That I was worth not the wait
But worth it today
And today would feel great
As you slide the knives further in 
Under the guise of promises and a tailor made grin.