Happy Now?

IMG_0300
Happy Now?

Are you happy baby?
Pull my strings and weigh me
Cinch the ties and wrap me
Up against the wall
But make sure not to be there when I fall
Broken parts on a stainless floor
Sew your puppet back together
Paint my bruises with some concealer
Add a layer of powder, rouge? Or will you use a bronzer?
Muted until you stitch my lips back on
Dolled up as you please
Lips, eyes, chest, back, knees
Beating me into submission
To feed your anxious demons
Oh isn’t life just grand!
Now my blood decorates your hands
My ugliness is showing again
Stretching and stuffing
Life is pouring out faster than you can put it back in
The quickness of your fingers on that needle
Are you happy now?

Advertisements

The Untold I

IMG_0196

The untold
Sneaks through the rift
Piercing my bones
Some days, sleeping stagnant
And undetermined
Like a windless river
Inside the crevice of my heart
But today
It rages, frenzied like a bull
The untold
Pounds against the locked doors of my soul
Biting its daggers into my pulse
Buried and untold
Piled and packed tight
The routine smile
While the untold cries
And hides
In desolate corners
And forbidden places
Plagued by the essence
Of being ashamed
So muted and untold
Is how
I Remain

High on Anxiety

DSCN1179 (2)

My hearts beating so fast

And heavy
Feels like a stone
Thump thump thumping
A pattern of manic beats
Paranoid and ready
Expecting the unexpected
As it happened before
Shock and horror
Barging through the front door
Uninvited
Now those experiences lurk inside me
I evaluate and weigh the probability
Of the monsters life expectancy
It’s like a thrill ride
Without the gravity
A bad dream
When you wake up falling
It’s my memories calling
My intuition warning
Sometimes the mutt hides in the night
And rises with the morning
Terror dripping and weaving
Dissecting every inch of my strung up feelings
My pulse is revved up
And it’s impossible to sleep
Welcome to the night of an insomniac
High on anxiety beats

To you, dear

DSCN1412 (3)

At the mouth of this cage

The liquid fire in my belly has consumed it all
From blistering tears
To sweating rage
These ceaseless loops
have me drained
I’m a canary
A blue bird
My song is expanding
Can you hear me
Vibrating through our air
Flying to you, dear
Break me down
Break me apart
Flush my desires
Unplug my pent up heart
I will land softy in your arms
Breaking safely down
I will sing for you
When day has fallen
And my cage has met your ground