Denial 



I really miss you today

Blue eyes 
Always converse
Always the jokester
The tragedy laced into my heart
As I stitch it tears apart
The pulse of where you are 
In the flesh that swims upstream
In the veins that give and take
The mothers milk 
Where I am permanently stayed 
My nails I bite 
Claw and fight me
Growing back at quicker speeds
A metaphor that is now my grief 
I cry and wail
Yet the missing only intensifies
I can’t stand to admit it!
Have you really died? 
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Accidental Death

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I sank into the corner

Outside looking in

On my tiny little frame

And the pain it was in

Curled into a slender ball

Head buried into the darkness of my knees

Fetal

Surrounded with cherry colored

Little bottles

All filled with different pills

Prescribed candy from a doctor

We just went out to have some fun

Then one shot of Patron

Stacked into ten

Or more

Maybe we really went to

Kill our pain

With a shot right to the heart

I told her “get me 9-11”

My body was soaked and trembling

Pins and needs pushing

Into my skin that was

Pale and crying

Black eyeliner streaking over white powder

Face of a mime dancer

Naked and cold

She brought me a warm blanket

My body one with the floor

Not feeling well herself

Yet knowing I was worse

She knelt down

And softly said

“shh, you’re ok”

As she calmed my withdrawn body

Massaging my feet and my legs

My angel knew just what to do

My heart tremored not as fast

I popped a few random pills

Begging for the pain to pass

I started thinking of people like

Amy Whinehouse and Heath Ledger

I started thinking of people

Like my only brother

Is this what it is like?

To accidently die

You can’t even count the pills

You’re just praying for sleep

And the pain to subside

I believe I was saved

By the angel at my feet

Because I could of sworn my spirit was dying

When I was only meaning to sleep