We were Rockstars once 

  

Sliding down the banister

Your arms waiting
Silly and sinister
The perfect match for your little sister 
One drag at a time  
We’ll figure the rest out together 
Fur coats and sunglasses 
Jovial hearts but we walk like badasses 
I won’t forsake what you started 
At times the grief hurts so bad
I can’t handle it 
I smell your teen spirit 
I scream our favorite songs 
I’m clawing through jungles of traps
Cuz all I hear is 
“Little sis I got your back”
And I know you do
This determination I feel
Imprinted by you
The memories are coming back
The crazy times 
A wild and fearless love 
Dammit that you’re gone
But we were rockstars once 

  
  


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Denial 



I really miss you today

Blue eyes 
Always converse
Always the jokester
The tragedy laced into my heart
As I stitch it tears apart
The pulse of where you are 
In the flesh that swims upstream
In the veins that give and take
The mothers milk 
Where I am permanently stayed 
My nails I bite 
Claw and fight me
Growing back at quicker speeds
A metaphor that is now my grief 
I cry and wail
Yet the missing only intensifies
I can’t stand to admit it!
Have you really died?