anger

Slices of a Souldier- the heart

by Souldiergirl

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You escort my heart out
From under me
Massaging and loving
Persuading and wooing
Charming and convincing
Subtlety turning
Toward cowardly convictions
Flatlining the beat you set in motion
Placing it on the pavement
While you disappear
Just for a minute…
Dear…
Seasons pass then reappear
My heart long succumbed
To your dead cold air
Another burnt strand of hair
Another scratch against the mirror
Lest you uncover your ear
Detecting my heart alive and vulnerable
These are the wounds
That etch me into a souldier

Spyder

by Souldiergirl

spyder

Lurking in the shadows
Like a creep
Patiently waiting
For me to slip
Dripping venom from your teeth
Desiring to put my blood to sleep
Hairs rising up
In the cut of your abdomen
Praying for sick wishes
Praying for a falling victim
To feast upon the wrists
Where you once hid
Pitch black secrets
Now bandaged in pain
The kill fills you up again
Crawling faster little spyder
I see your cobwebs
Filling my corners
The prince of darkness
Now dethroned
To the smallness of a spyder
Bound to be
blood against my walls

He

by Souldiergirl

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He is my distraction from you

He paints me with all the colors you withdrew

All the beauty you claimed to adore

With a mouth you compliment

Suck my lips

With actions you torment

Stab me as I turn my hips

Away from you now

Your lies vomited out

What a mess

Hope you enjoyed our last kiss

When I’m anxious and lonely

He is anywhere I ask him to be

I don’t need him to fetch me the stars

Or pretend to care about my scars

He is my clouds he is my rain

He is my distraction from the pain

I don’t accept your gift of misery

I’ll swing from he to he

Like monkeys in a jungle

I’m wild and I am free

No, he will not tame me

I just need him to take me

At least one of us is bound by truth

He is my distraction from you

Ascent

by Souldiergirl

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Ascending

into freedom

I know you want me

Coming in your kingdom

Stretch that lace

Round my neck

Crack that whip

My nails down your…

Hypnotic pulses

Regenerating

A lovers connection

But I am not bound

To my knees

To adorn you

My hands are not tied

skin to skin

To absorb your sin

My mouth is not gagged

Screaming for permission to speak

My words run wild

And I follow their lead

Right out the door

Free

Stages

by Souldiergirl

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Mixed words Mixed looks

Mixed scenarios

I’m in your hooks

Lost pieces Lost souls

Lost lovers

I’m in your pull

Fallen clothes Fallen stars

Fallen parts

I’m in your heart

Locked lips Locked hands

Locked plans

I’m in your command

Promises made Promises teased

Promises empty

I’m in your trapeze

Lies whispered Lies screaming

Lies naked and revealing

You denied You doubted

You put me in the rearview

I’m treasured I’m honored

By an unknown future

So fuck the lies

I’m starting over

Betrayed

by Souldiergirl

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Betrayed

In the worst kind of way

It hurts It stings

It is raw and it bleeds

I would if I could

Cauterize

but the memories claw the wounds open again

like trees hitting the window

In a storm beyond my control

Lies spring eternal

The heartbreak you administered

Is lethal

Oh Doctor Doctor

Tell me what’s the cure…

For this deadly betrayal?

I became the centerfold

For his lies and scandal

Oh Doctor Doctor

Come a little closer

Transform me into more than one can handle

Take these feelings burning my soul

The side effects of betrayals disaster

Burn them into oblivion

And return them to their master

Before my morning mug

by Souldiergirl

Before my morning mug

The annoyance of irony 

The drag of being alive today
The uncomfortable heaviness all over me 
The only comfort is being with you
But then again eventually you will leave too
The constant pang of the bitter truth
The way we can’t change the history of our roots 
The way the pain clings like a million knives 
The way they back stab and don’t bother to lie 
Sometimes I wish they would 
Just tell me that life is going to be grand 
That I was worth the sacrifice 
That I was worth not the wait
But worth it today
And today would feel great
As you slide the knives further in 
Under the guise of promises and a tailor made grin.