Biting Down 

 I’m finding it hard to concentrate 

Thoughts speaking without raising their hands
Raising their voices 
Without being called on
Problems scribbled on the blackboard of my heart 
Lacking a solution for their missing parts
Attempts to steady my shaking hands 
Replacing God where there was once man
I try to sit alone and quiet down
A smile traced on my face 
…They all think she is ok
What if life behaved in an opposite way?
Where we just spoke the truth 
Of how we really were on any given day 
I would say, 
…I am biting down with weak teeth 
I am spitting out these words just to stop the nervous tweaks 
I am holding it all in 
I am under the water, freezing my breath
…becoming the hustler of life’s test
Shadowboxing the unrest 
The hive is loose 
And it is I they seem to choose 
Their stings prick and bleed 
But I bat them off 
With unwavering belief 
I’m fighting being defined a failure 
With scarred fists and a worn out tee shirt 
With the cliche missing 
And my poetry clinging 
Ink down my chest 
Bleeding from my heart 
Rendered into art
To heal myself 
I am tired and I am run down 
Yet there is magic in the forlorn 
I am telling you my real 
I am choking on how it feels
I am the result of what has spilled
…like oil out of a bottle 
I wear the stains of past tomorrow’s 
Yet I still live with two hands up on this roller coaster 
And that would be my truest answer 
If we lived in a world 
Where when we reply with how we are 
” yeah I’m ok”
…was not the standard

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The Voice in my Box

  

For many years 

debilitating thoughts 

made a home in my mind

No room at the inn, door locked 

…confined 

I smiled in silence 

To an oblivious room 

All the while

My throat screaming 

For all the bad memories 

All the unfair nights

All the damn hurt!

the effects 

…and the cause 

Life played out and my lips 

….Obediently paused 

Until 

The drink of belief 

Made her way 

From my mouth to my feet 

Like a waking alien 

I have found my home again 

And all that was shrunken inside 

Lost the urgency to cling and hide 

Rising in hope

Yes this freedom speaks

Oh honey…

This freedom sings!

She flys on flames atop of wings

And the music is sweeter than ever 

My voice, my speakers

Reign out 

Bleeding a glorious color

Onto white corners 

of my 

…Newly born feathers.