Comfort for Angels

  
For the mothers who have lost a child 

For the child who has lost a mother 

When the phrase “Happy Mother’s Day”

Is uttered…

There comes a choke of pain

Behind the smiling,  

“Thank you” 

And hallmark can speak for those who live with us 

As I cry with those 

Who live without 
DSC05281
This is my angel-miss you baby 

Advertisements

Redefine Me…

  

My God my God!

Move me-
Beyond this pain that endlessly cycles
Through me-
Beyond this tiny room 
Reveal me-
Within the pages and pages 
I’ve torn from my soul
My mental occupation
Leaving only time for false roles
A false hope-
Wrapping everything up to open behind one door-
My dreams have shifted to            unrequited goals-
The fairytales have gone                     too far-
Losing the bargain to                         fools gold-
But my worth in Jesus still              sparks a jolt!
I look to you God…                                  to fix these pieces-
I look to you…                                          to guide my indecision-
I can be so naive at the mercy of… others consequences-
Their own guilt becomes…                     my premonition-
Walking in the shadows of their… shifting disposition-
While my own life…                                  is found missing!
I will sit alone with God                       and let Him do the fixing-
No other hands will spread…              my veins with their poison-
I need to flush out,                                   a life of ill decisions
To break loose…
A will power that has been frozen-
Under the weight of a, disproportionate submission-

We translate His word into… inappropriate definitions-
I still believe God as a friend 
I will shed the weight of,                   what I do not comprehend 
Through the analytical demise of a phychologist
Myself I need not defend!
Without my money,                         would even pretend to understand?
I want to be near those who              give their last dime to a needy one!
Whose sacrifices emulate what our Father did for his Son!
Who puts out their hand…
Instead of hiding it away-
Manipulating mind games …and…
Plotting unfair trades-
To those who have been affected        by the struggle,
Living life outside the…                 diluted comfort of a bubble-
Popped, broken and shattered!
I want to walk alongside the,        widows and the loners 
When you are down in it 
It is hard to know the difference 
between help that is real…and…       that which is counterfeit-
I ask God to reveal                               and please define!
The rules for a girl…
Who was born outside the lines. 


Revolutionary 



Seven steps toward the sun 

Seven inches will reach the end  
Seven seconds..
Is when I let go and run 
Too foreign is the face of the reflection 
The haunt of 
“Is this what I really want”
Screaming like an old song
Or a familiar scent
I want to be like a reed in the water
Broken from robotic commitment 
The yes and no’s of behavior 
The falsetto of mediocre 
Shatter me into the wild 
Carve me out and into a sculpture 
I will break it apart
And sprint even further 
From the table you’ve set for my future
Don’t you see?
I will never live there
Today is already the sleeping tomorrow 
And I am young in the water
What you have predestined 
Is not for me
Don’t you see?
You don’t even know who I am
I am no longer your child 
I am a revolutionary woman
Without a mother 
Without a father 


I am your daughter 





Curled hair, Sunday school

Porcelain baby, porcelain doll
Hands slid inside white laced gloves
Am I good enough mommy?
I’m all dressed up!
Long hair, Christian school  
Plié’s at the ballerina bar
First second third position 
Stunning show, silk tied ribbons
Empty seats, fifth position 
Turn and bow, she’s not watching 
Dropping grades 
Confused, ashamed 
Crippled in the tub for hours 
Bleeding blades on razors   
Too much to handle
She sends me away
No warmth upon returning 
Don’t speak do not mention
Anything 
Uncomfortable
Perfect grades, flawless face
Still too dull for her gaze 
My own arms, I use for embrace
Homecoming queen, varsity team
Last one picked up
Late as usual 
Mom, can we at least talk?
No! Read the bible, you slut
What….the….fuck 
Hide that ass
Tie down those breasts
Face scribbled black 
Hood worn up 
Hope…
What’s that? 
Drunk drugged 
Masked and raped
Hospital tanked
Alone alone she’s too busy for baby 
First position
Keep the facade going
Look that pristine part 
So she can pretend not to know
Bow turn cage plié
Perfect flatline confusion
Drowning baby disillusion 
String pulls 
String twisting
Giving birth into a life 
Of crazy making 

*Please love and hug your sons and daughters today. Give them your face and your arms, let them feel you love them no matter how good or bad they are. ***just love***