Feathers from Fear

  

You take me…                                       to new heights

You raise me…                                    to tree tops                                 Gazing at … moon drops 
Naming the stars for me 
Calling me…serenity
But soon… do I realize
This necklace is a collar
This collar is your fingers 
Muzzling me to death
Stifling every breath 
I shared my heart with you!
I unlocked my voice                        …and all I went through
Yet you behave just like the rest…
Holding me out from safety 
Teasing to drop me
Freely…into nothing 
Then- pulling me in and asking…
“How are you feeling?”
I shudder to a revealed illusion 
You should wear your                     God granted honor,                          like you wear a suit and tie
….Ironed and tight-                        with head held high 
Do not speak the word “love”
As you simultaneously squish           …my being like a bug
A pest under your foot
You think I will go along with that?
I will rise up!
And have my own back
I fly down this tree
Like a swift kitty cat
Keep your plastic alibis 
Keep my tears that lived in me       and…died in your hands
Keep it all!
I am gone 
Faster…                                                      than you can stand.
  
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Burned



And in a snap 

Trust is burned to death 
A smolder of rust
From fragile hands 
Reaching for straws  
To regrow the charred grass 
But the fire restarts 
With a flash
A burst of charcoaled truth 
When I view you 
Striking a fuse, splitting vows in two  
And here I remain 
Outside your window
Getting slammed by pain 
Chunks of heart break off
Slipping down the gutters drain 
Why I seem
To never learn this lesson
Bulldozed by lies careful construction
Trust is impossible to grasp
When you’ve tied my feet
And sawed off my hands 

Wilted 



I smell the rose

Soft red velvet
Remembering…
When you came from behind
And slid it across my shoulderline
Its comforting scent 
Smoldering me with love evidence 
Nibbling my ear and curling me near
Gently lifting me up
And placing me down
Gaze to gaze 
A promise was made
You willed not to stray
Now the petals ripped and stained 
From a hand that carries teardrops
From eyes that witnessed your love cropped
Leaving truth outside the picture
The comforting memory 
Is now a a wilted vapor 

Happy Now?

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Happy Now?

Are you happy baby?
Pull my strings and weigh me
Cinch the ties and wrap me
Up against the wall
But make sure not to be there when I fall
Broken parts on a stainless floor
Sew your puppet back together
Paint my bruises with some concealer
Add a layer of powder, rouge? Or will you use a bronzer?
Muted until you stitch my lips back on
Dolled up as you please
Lips, eyes, chest, back, knees
Beating me into submission
To feed your anxious demons
Oh isn’t life just grand!
Now my blood decorates your hands
My ugliness is showing again
Stretching and stuffing
Life is pouring out faster than you can put it back in
The quickness of your fingers on that needle
Are you happy now?

One Word

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One Word

There is absolutely
Unequivocally
Such thing
As a stupid question
A statement that pulls the trigger
Blasting trust into vapor
An utter misstep
Revealing an absence of tact
On your part
Blending the colors
Of your uniqueness
Into a gray and white backdrop
Robotically engineered just as everyone else
Scraping a raw soul
With the cocky tongue of a knife
Words that cut and slice
A compliment frozen on ice
If only your mouth had eyes
They’d turn to red
If I spewed out
The filth that you just said

Spyder

spyder

Lurking in the shadows
Like a creep
Patiently waiting
For me to slip
Dripping venom from your teeth
Desiring to put my blood to sleep
Hairs rising up
In the cut of your abdomen
Praying for sick wishes
Praying for a falling victim
To feast upon the wrists
Where you once hid
Pitch black secrets
Now bandaged in pain
The kill fills you up again
Crawling faster little spyder
I see your cobwebs
Filling my corners
The prince of darkness
Now dethroned
To the smallness of a spyder
Bound to be
blood against my walls

He

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He is my distraction from you

He paints me with all the colors you withdrew

All the beauty you claimed to adore

With a mouth you compliment

Suck my lips

With actions you torment

Stab me as I turn my hips

Away from you now

Your lies vomited out

What a mess

Hope you enjoyed our last kiss

When I’m anxious and lonely

He is anywhere I ask him to be

I don’t need him to fetch me the stars

Or pretend to care about my scars

He is my clouds he is my rain

He is my distraction from the pain

I don’t accept your gift of misery

I’ll swing from he to he

Like monkeys in a jungle

I’m wild and I am free

No, he will not tame me

I just need him to take me

At least one of us is bound by truth

He is my distraction from you

Ascent

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Ascending

into freedom

I know you want me

Coming in your kingdom

Stretch that lace

Round my neck

Crack that whip

My nails down your…

Hypnotic pulses

Regenerating

A lovers connection

But I am not bound

To my knees

To adorn you

My hands are not tied

skin to skin

To absorb your sin

My mouth is not gagged

Screaming for permission to speak

My words run wild

And I follow their lead

Right out the door

Free