Wilted 



I smell the rose

Soft red velvet
Remembering…
When you came from behind
And slid it across my shoulderline
Its comforting scent 
Smoldering me with love evidence 
Nibbling my ear and curling me near
Gently lifting me up
And placing me down
Gaze to gaze 
A promise was made
You willed not to stray
Now the petals ripped and stained 
From a hand that carries teardrops
From eyes that witnessed your love cropped
Leaving truth outside the picture
The comforting memory 
Is now a a wilted vapor 

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Stages

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Mixed words Mixed looks

Mixed scenarios

I’m in your hooks

Lost pieces Lost souls

Lost lovers

I’m in your pull

Fallen clothes Fallen stars

Fallen parts

I’m in your heart

Locked lips Locked hands

Locked plans

I’m in your command

Promises made Promises teased

Promises empty

I’m in your trapeze

Lies whispered Lies screaming

Lies naked and revealing

You denied You doubted

You put me in the rearview

I’m treasured I’m honored

By an unknown future

So fuck the lies

I’m starting over

My soul is mine again

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Tonight my pain is as deep as the ocean

My sorrow is painted in dark alleyways

My eyes are in dreary disbelief

For my soul is mine again

You have returned it

In many pieces

All over this room

That feels like a endless field

Where I see no end and I yearn for reason

Reasons that will never be mine

They belong to you

You made your choices

And now I make mine too

But first…

I will lay in this field

Gazing at the white world

Fumbling for my heart that got away

Being the darkness, painting my pain

Throughout the alleyways.

Betrayed

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Betrayed

In the worst kind of way

It hurts It stings

It is raw and it bleeds

I would if I could

Cauterize

but the memories claw the wounds open again

like trees hitting the window

In a storm beyond my control

Lies spring eternal

The heartbreak you administered

Is lethal

Oh Doctor Doctor

Tell me what’s the cure…

For this deadly betrayal?

I became the centerfold

For his lies and scandal

Oh Doctor Doctor

Come a little closer

Transform me into more than one can handle

Take these feelings burning my soul

The side effects of betrayals disaster

Burn them into oblivion

And return them to their master

Before my morning mug

Before my morning mug

The annoyance of irony 

The drag of being alive today
The uncomfortable heaviness all over me 
The only comfort is being with you
But then again eventually you will leave too
The constant pang of the bitter truth
The way we can’t change the history of our roots 
The way the pain clings like a million knives 
The way they back stab and don’t bother to lie 
Sometimes I wish they would 
Just tell me that life is going to be grand 
That I was worth the sacrifice 
That I was worth not the wait
But worth it today
And today would feel great
As you slide the knives further in 
Under the guise of promises and a tailor made grin.