Biting Down 

 I’m finding it hard to concentrate 

Thoughts speaking without raising their hands
Raising their voices 
Without being called on
Problems scribbled on the blackboard of my heart 
Lacking a solution for their missing parts
Attempts to steady my shaking hands 
Replacing God where there was once man
I try to sit alone and quiet down
A smile traced on my face 
…They all think she is ok
What if life behaved in an opposite way?
Where we just spoke the truth 
Of how we really were on any given day 
I would say, 
…I am biting down with weak teeth 
I am spitting out these words just to stop the nervous tweaks 
I am holding it all in 
I am under the water, freezing my breath
…becoming the hustler of life’s test
Shadowboxing the unrest 
The hive is loose 
And it is I they seem to choose 
Their stings prick and bleed 
But I bat them off 
With unwavering belief 
I’m fighting being defined a failure 
With scarred fists and a worn out tee shirt 
With the cliche missing 
And my poetry clinging 
Ink down my chest 
Bleeding from my heart 
Rendered into art
To heal myself 
I am tired and I am run down 
Yet there is magic in the forlorn 
I am telling you my real 
I am choking on how it feels
I am the result of what has spilled
…like oil out of a bottle 
I wear the stains of past tomorrow’s 
Yet I still live with two hands up on this roller coaster 
And that would be my truest answer 
If we lived in a world 
Where when we reply with how we are 
” yeah I’m ok”
…was not the standard

99 thoughts on “Biting Down 

  1. And like a star she rises in the east. I was just thinking about you. Wondering where my brave Sisterheart has been. And I see her fury still burns bright…I see her steel is just as sharp…and my soul remembers her light and warms itself in the truth that we are bound by a common thread. And there are storms but, that thread remains unbroken. And I am the better for it.

    Goodnight, Shieldmaiden 💙

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, sister! Yes, “how are you” is too often just a nice phrase. But there are places where that question means something and the person who asks waits for an honest answer. The ones who ask that question seriously see so much more already anyway and would never believe if you said “I am ok”. Those are the ones who matter. Lots of love, dear soul sister 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes that’s exactly it! I’ve had experiences like that and the person hugs me or gives me a loving look because they just know it’s not ok but we don’t always have to say, we just know, right sis💓💓💓 I love you!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Mark!! *huge hugs* yes I love this vision you have painted. With that mind and heartset it really helps get through the struggles. Hands up, hair in the wind..feeling the very things that give us life. 💕💕💕💓

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I can full appreciate this poem, understanding much of what you have said here, sometimes its hard to bite down.. but we smile, and keep saying those words which roll easier off our tongue.. I’m Ok..
    Great piece of writing , written from deep within I feel..
    Love and Blessings to you SG..
    Love Sue ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love when you visit Sue! Thank you so much. You’re right it gets easier and easier doesn’t it. It’s the times it starts to bubble over that I need to get all of it out and it helps too. Thank you for sharing and your kind words. I appreciate you!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. “I wear the stains of past tomorrow’s” … beautiful words sis real like ever, I am happy that you’re back here and writing. Life is a constant mutant and you are part of it, keep going on with love and bravery…<3

    Liked by 2 people

  5. My favorite lines:

    Thoughts speaking without raising their hands
    Raising their voices
    Without being called on
    Problems scribbled on the blackboard of my heart

    A perfect metaphor and something I have never read before in my life. You nailed this poem with such heart and a tremendous soul. You poured out everything that your feeling and that is sheer brilliance. 🙂

    My favorite poem by you. 🙂

    P.S I posted 2 new poems if you ever get a chance to read them, stop by. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Souldier girl, imagery unseen for aeons life unfettered, we are all guilty who never reply with the truth. Shame is our truth would send those asking running screaming for the hills. Our cross is ours to bear not to share, we hide the truth because it’s painful. We lie because it’s easier than saying I feel as though I’m losing today and want to kill myself right now if one more person asks me how I am…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much for reading and sharing Dave. It can be freeing to share and connect in that way. It’s helped me when others open themselves and share. I also understand not wanting to. We are all beautifully different and some days we may want to share and some it’s too much. There is no right or wrong, we are all just getting through aren’t we💙 Thank you again Dave.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You have it, we all have tales to tell, my mind is fading so I’m trying to get down my memories before they fade completely. I can’t believe how many others share their intimate fears on this site, but if we can help others don’t we have a duty to do so? I hope you’re around for a long time to come xoxo
        Dave xoxo

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you Dave! That means a lot to me. I’m so glad you’re sharing. I’m trying to get it all out while I can too 😊. I’m grateful for you and hope we both have many more sharing days ahead of us 💓

        Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s been a while since I have posted but I intend to come back. It’s hard for me to give to more than one platform so I have been on Instagram mostly. But this is my baby so I will get something up when I can❤

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s