My God my God!
Beyond this pain that endlessly cycles
Beyond this tiny room
Within the pages and pages
I’ve torn from my soul
My mental occupation
Leaving only time for false roles
A false hope-
Wrapping everything up to open behind one door-
My dreams have shifted to unrequited goals-
The fairytales have gone too far-
Losing the bargain to fools gold-
But my worth in Jesus still sparks a jolt!
I look to you God… to fix these pieces-
I look to you… to guide my indecision-
I can be so naive at the mercy of… others consequences-
Their own guilt becomes… my premonition-
Walking in the shadows of their… shifting disposition-
While my own life… is found missing!
I will sit alone with God and let Him do the fixing-
No other hands will spread… my veins with their poison-
I need to flush out, a life of ill decisions
To break loose…
A will power that has been frozen-
Under the weight of a, disproportionate submission-
We translate His word into… inappropriate definitions-
I still believe God as a friend
I will shed the weight of, what I do not comprehend
Through the analytical demise of a phychologist
Myself I need not defend!
Without my money, would even pretend to understand?
I want to be near those who give their last dime to a needy one!
Whose sacrifices emulate what our Father did for his Son!
Who puts out their hand…
Instead of hiding it away-
Manipulating mind games …and…
Plotting unfair trades-
To those who have been affected by the struggle,
Living life outside the… diluted comfort of a bubble-
Popped, broken and shattered!
I want to walk alongside the, widows and the loners
When you are down in it
It is hard to know the difference
between help that is real…and… that which is counterfeit-
I ask God to reveal and please define!
The rules for a girl…
Who was born outside the lines.