I am so numb
From how you’ve used my heart as a pin cushion
Digging down and pushing in
Telling me your sewing
Promising your fixing
Then why am I bleeding?
-“Oh darling, it’s all in your head you silly thing”
Your charismatic distraction
Enforcing my gaze of attraction
As you sneak the daggers, slicing in
Kidnapping my feathers
And leaving me lurching in pain
Why do I feel this way?
-“Oh darling, it’s just stress, now here can you take my full plate”
My face is aging
The circles under my eyes are raising
Who is this woman in the mirror
I see her, she is staring…
It’s not me
It cannot be
But…I was beautiful and free
From behind my reflection you say
-“Oh darling, have you been smoking again? I can tell just by the lines on your face”
Notes and roses piled up at my door
My heart is confused, exhausted and sore
Making love then labeling me a whore
My hearts been beat so bad
I can’t feel it anymore
I’m not happy
I cannot cry
I do not feel the anger when you offer me a lie
-“Oh darling, darling it’s all in your mind. I love you so much and everything is fine”
Hands dropping all of your plates
I can no longer hold the swelling weight
-“oh darling, why aren’t you eating”
So damn nervous of your shifting emotions
The eggshells have lacerated my feet
I can no longer tip toe around you and your manic needs
All the while my bleeding is being ignored
Your dressing
for work
As I lay paralyzed on the floor
Right in front of you
You pretend you do not see
But I’m shaking and bleeding, right here at your feet!
-“oh darling, I left the shower running, what would they think if I was late for my meeting?”
Oh my God
What have I done
I’ve fed the monster all of my limbs
I am his feasting tube
So his ego can breathe
I will slide on my belly and hideaway
From you darling and your diamond incrusted cage
Salvaging who I am
As my numbed heart melts
Under a healing sun
I am reeling in the misery of what you have done
Dying to be away from you
Yet dying to again
be
Numb
Holy Hell, this is amazing good SG. Can I say fucking great.
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Yes you can! Grr-thank you Ax.
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Ok, fucking great!!
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Fucking fabulous compliment!
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ha xx
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The imagery in this is so vivid Sparrow. Your gift is limitless…I just hate the pain that feeds it
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It’s ok honey-it’s the past now, just a story to be told that’s all. Love you starshine 😘
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Wow!! This is beyond words fantastic. Eloquent words. Powerful words expressed so beautifully. Xx hugs
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Thank you CJ! Wow indeed, your words mean so much. 💜💜
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Reblogged this on georgeforfun.
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Reblogged this on Kindred Words.
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So visceral and full of pain. Glad to see it’s in the past.
Love your writing, so raw and real.
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Me too. Thank you very much for your words
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
TREMENDOUSLY MOVING!
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Wow! Thanks so very much Jonathan:))
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Beautifully written.
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Thank you very much :))
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Wow! raw, poignant words… I feel like you’ve told my story here too!
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I appreciate that so much Lori. Thank you. Hope you’re in a safer and happier story now ❤️❤️
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You are most welcome dear… and thank you, I am… I hope you are as well
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I am too- and so are my babies :))
Thank you Lori 🌸
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Reblogged this on The Rattling Bones and commented:
Powerful, poignant, raw… left me breathless!
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Wow. Exceptional.
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Thank you!
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Great poetry, but how I wish every woman knew she deserves so much better than this.
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I do too- I escaped this and believe others can too❤️❤️thanks so much Laine.
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Reblogged this on Myblog's Blog.
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you know i had to go back and dig through your previous work
and again this is a jewel.i admire the gold that is your mind.
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You lift me up with your generous words. Thank you so much Max
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