Laying
Staring at the ceiling
The things I realize
The dawn on me
Between the slender pale cracks
Shaped more like shifting maps
Shooting stars piercing through these delicate wounds
A frenzy stirs like a cyclone through theses rough bones
As I lay here
So silent and alone
I searched and found loves name
Now safe branches break me to my knees
Cries repeating in restless amens
Just staring at the ceiling
Wooden beams cracking
Into a kaleidoscope of feelings
All the times I revealed an angel
You painted my heart a monster
You scared me into the corner
I clutch the unseen picture, designed for you
Your name tangled in veins
Caressing my side
A permanent mark, a second tattoo
Lover I drew it for you
The ceiling speaks in unicorns and queens
Fighting the way knights never fought for me
But anything can happen
My savior calms my quivers of havoc
The white sky of balloon lines and magic
But tonight I see my dreams turn tragic
Promises that never happened
I became an allergic reaction
A numbing sensation
While I burned like fire
Smoke on the bed sheet lingers
Inside I’m rebuilding these fallen houses
Faster than a feinding addict
But my bodies a coma absorbing the static
Intentions forgotten
When I laid them out like crisp laundry
Now I’m just a twisted memory
In the lines I see a princess
Scrubbing the tiles for whiteness
But there is beauty in the stains
I adore myself for who I am
My canopy shadows my eyes
soaking a soggy mattress
Oh how bad I wanted it
Inside my stomach turns
For how bad I wanted it
The train crashed and my body was
Too small to stop it
So I let it collide into me
And curled into the smallest figurine
Waking up inside a bleeding hangover
And I wanted it so bad
The anguish to leave this bed
I asked her what she was doing
Another frame shakes from bruising
Inside a million pieces digging for healing
A body bag of another broken heart
Just staring at the ceiling.

                                                   When it’s just been pouring down sun”